The Unseen World Of Mind-Chatter
It is often challenging to navigate the world without thoughts, but thinking adds a whole new layer of what I call “fluff.”
This fluff is unseen by others, but they can often feel or sense it in our lives.
THE ROLE OF MORNING PAGES
I can wake up, and the minute my eyes recognize that I am awake, the chitter-chatter of my mind begins. “Oh! You must do this, or you must do that,” it recites. Thankfully, right now I am writing Morning Pages, a concept coined by the author Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way. The process involves writing three pages of mind chatter onto the page immediately upon waking. I have my pen and notebook close to my bed, ready to catch the mind bugs that are flying incessantly around my head.
Writing it all out is not always fun; it often seems pointless, and the details can be nonsensical. This is what my mind wants me to believe so it can go on regurgitating thoughts all day. However, with the help of writing, I can put many of these repetitive thoughts on the page and out of my head, giving me space to breathe, at least for the first part of my day.
THE NATURE OF THOUGHTS
Thoughts are what make us human. Animals don’t seem to think in the same way, and if they do, they keep those thoughts very quiet. Animals are very present and in the moment. For example, dogs love to sniff grass for hours, sensing the scents left by other dogs so they can leave their own personal scent. That is all they focus on when out walking. But for us humans, we can have a whole plethora of thoughts swirling inside our heads. We can time travel to all kinds of worlds and be completely absent during a walk.
FINDING PRESENCE IN NATURE
I have often drifted off to the future or the past, and very rarely am I in the moment. When I do recognize that I have drifted, I use nature to bring me back. Listening to the wind rustle the leaves in the trees is so calming and meditative for me. During a beautiful sunrise or sunset, the lighting on the fauna and flora can be so awe-inspiring that you don’t want to be anywhere but in that very moment.
THE INNER CHILD CONNECTION
Those are the moments I would like to bottle up so I can escape there instead of listening to the mind chatter, which often consists of a repetition of thoughts from a younger version of myself—one that has adopted a level of adversity and is now hyper-vigilant and trying to survive. But survive what, exactly? Well… this of course is the ‘unknown’: What if X, Y, and Z happened? The mind has to figure everything out and be on high alert, and boy, oh boy, does it keep alerting me, to the point of exhaustion. I just want to rest, to enjoy my day, and to not worry about every little thing that could or could not happen. I wonder if everyone thinks like me, or if I am in the minority. I have listened to Anna Runkle, ‘The Crappy Childhood Fairy’ YouTuber, and a lot of what she talks about, including deregulation and childhood PTSD, resonates with me. I do believe our inner child is like one of those Russian dolls—an inner part of us that vibrates outward into our adult selves today. It is only when we become present that we can gain awareness of the “auto child” (instead of being on autopilot) that is in full operation each day. What does he or she need from us that maybe wasn’t provided in childhood? That need has never gone away; it has been ignored, and if we continue to ignore that part, it will only get louder until we acknowledge it and ultimately heal it.
THE JOURNEY OF EGO DISSOLUTION
I am doing the inner work right now and have always been on a journey to improve my mental state. I believe that is what we are here to do. We are born without an identity, gain an ego that is solidified around age 21, and then, boom, we must find a way to dissolve it until we die. I think the aging process helps dissolve the ego because it is often identified with the body and perfection. If we can live in this physical form without an ego—a separate self—we become one with our world. We see beauty where there is pain; we see everything as perfect, with nothing needing to be changed, altered, or judged. Everything simply is what it is and is part of this magical universe that runs the whole show.
EMBRACE AWARENESS AND BEAUTY
