Our world is populated by people and you are one of those people, who I am guessing have interacted with others in the course of your lifetime.
Which means you’ve had to engage in a relationship. Yes, that connection thing can be great and not so great depending on who you are dealing with.
However, whoever it is, there is learning to be held in each connection. Some may bring the best out in us and others the worst. Some individuals you may want to spend time with and others you may want to avoid.
Whatever the case maybe with awareness you can really learn a lot about yourself from how you engage with others.
Let’s step back in time…
There was a spark of love and suddenly a little sperm found its way into an egg and off the journey began from embryo to baby and boom you were born into this world.
Suddenly you heard sounds, breathed in the air, and opened your eyes to an endless array of objects and beings with many colours that your mind had to take in all at once. What a ride! Welcome to planet Earth little one!
From this day onward you were surrounded by people and places that you took in with all your five senses. Tasting, smelling, feeling, seeing, and hearing all the varieties of these brand-new experiences.
Day by day your mind and body began to learn about the people surrounding you. How they made you feel by observing their behaviours and interactions with you. Over time you slowly started to develop thoughts that then started shaping your own personal reality.
This is why no two people can watch a film and have the same exact experience because the thinking mind is different for each individual. Our thoughts are all based upon our own past experiences and all the meanings we’ve given to things throughout our lives.
Often we forget when we get older our past but the unconscious part of our mind never truly forgets, it just buries the memories that aren’t of relevance today.
However, in our relationships suddenly these buried memories can become activated and can show up in our interactions with people.
You may notice that you get along with some people and others you just don’t. This is usually because they will trigger memories of past experiences where you either felt comfortable or uncomfortable in their presence. They remind you of someone or the environment might remind you of a past experience that is activated when you enter a space or engage with a person who reignites these buried memories.
Image by Christo Anestev
We are like a Russian doll with many layers. You have your baby self, kindergarten self, pre-schooler self, teenage self, and adult self just to name a few. All these layers are either dormant or activated depending on who you are with and if they mirror something back to you from your past.
And this is where relationships can become a game of mastery. They are gifts, bringing us awareness of a part our selves that may need healing. Or you might need to grow past the habits you have developed in your childhood that no longer serve you today.
The key to mastery is to learn from your mistakes. So use your relationships to show you where you are continuously making mistakes and then grow from them. Each person will highlight the good and the not-so-good inside of you. Once the light shows you the truth, you can then decide to either carry on as you are or make a commitment to change.
The choice will always be yours but one thing I know for sure is that if you choose to ignore these reactive patterns in your life. The little nudges sent to get you to grow. They will become louder and louder until you are forced to make a change.
This is why the relationships throughout our lives are here to assist our growth and if you can view them from this vantage point you can start to step up in your own life and become the best version of yourself.
The next time you engage with someone be present and notice the subtle signs inside of you. Are you happy with this interaction? Are you sad? Do you enjoy talking or do you want to hide?
These are just a few ideas you could ask yourself to bring new awareness and an opportunity to choose a different outcome.
Become your own detective and find out which buried part of you needs some love and attention in order to make an evolutionary change within your life.